May 2013
am i in love or am i horny
when you’re eating at a restaurant and the waiter comes to check on you
me: i'm so lonely
person: hey
me: leave me alone
[SCREAMS MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS LYRICS AT YOU]
fondantfancy asked: Adding you to my faves, I love your theme! :* xoxox
Do you ever see a post on your dash and literally say “shut up” out loud
basically tumblr is like our father and we’re all his children and he is about to get married to yahoo who is a massive bitch and will probably ruin our lives and we’re like no dad stop and we’re all crying very loudly because we dont want yahoo to be our new mum because she is a monster who will probably kill dad when he becomes useless and take all his money that he left to us the bottOM LINE...
you know parents make such a big deal about explaining homosexuality to their children but when I was a kid I watched a show where one of the villains was a satanic cross-dressing lobster and never once questioned it
Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk
Person: How do lesbians have sex?
Me: The question is how do they stop.
Who invented the blow job?
Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
IF YOU GET MAD AT PEOPLE FOR BEING EXCITED IM GONNA PUSH YOU OFF MOUNT EVEREST
[[seductively does nothing to indicate I’m attracted to you]]
me flirting
sometimes i watch youtube videos and halfway through i’m like you know what i don’t care and then i close it
yahoo yaho aho ho how how a how ab how abo how abou how about how about n how about no
my biggest problem in life is that you can’t put emphasis on “i” by capitalizing it
they call me macklemore in math class because im like
what what what what what
what what what what what what what
what what what what
someone fall in love with me i am bored
is it just me or is talking to your hairdresser the most uncomfortable thing in the world
you wanna fight? alright let’s take this outside! the stars are so bright tonight. the moon looks so nice. hold my hand
when you come back from an exam and everyone asks you how you did:
DONT GO THRU OLD CONVERSATIONS WITH SOMEONE WHO U USED TO BE CLOSE WITH
sooowe’re drinking some vodka with my best friend while listening to ke$ha, pre partying.
hello everryyyyone
whores:
whores:
Don’t cry because its over
cry because you’re ugly
i am three years behind in my math homework
*opens jacket* hey u wanna buy some oh jesus fuck it’s cold *closes jacket*
currently watching: my life fall to pieces
i’m friends with everyone until they get better friends and kinda leave me
